A young woman of Winnsboro, Misty Goldman, offered remarks at the GoldStars Tribute Wall ceremony Saturday in Mineola. She is the elder sister of Shane Goldman, who at the age of 19 was killed in the battle of Falluja. 

Her remarks encapsulated the unique power of the Tribute Wall and serve as a guide for all who find themselves mourning a loved one. 

“Hey ya’ll. I am going to keep this as short as I can. I will be as happy as I can; I try to be that way. Ya’ll just bear with me.

Thank you, Mineola, for allowing us to be here. This is a special gift. 

I know that some of you may not know what it means to have a family member up there on the wall. It is hard. And to see their name on something so special – it is hard. But over time the hardness and the sadness gets replaced with pride, and you are actually a little more joyful and honored to see their name.

So, Shane Goldman is my brother. I am very honored to have him as a brother.

On this wall are five other names of the boys who were killed on the same day and at the same time that my brother was killed. He was killed April 5, 2004 in Falluja, Iraq, in Anbar province.

I have a picture of him that travels with me everywhere I go. It started with me when I worked at the Quitman Animal Clinic some 13 years ago. It was there that I met Judge Ed Hunt. He was a big guy who became a second grandpa to me. He became my best buddy.

One day he said to me, pointing at the photo, “Kid, tell me the story.”  

“That is my brother,” I answered.

“Is he home?” he questioned.

“Kinda, ya, he is,” I said.

The picture that I have has three other names with it. They were with him on patrol that morning. The picture was taken about an hour before the incident.

He was smiling in the photo because that was what he was about, smiling. I try to smile as much as possible. He was very happy-go-lucky.

Last night we came up here to visit the wall. We came in the dark. You should see it in the dark. It takes on a new life and new meaning. It’s beautiful.

We looked for my brother’s name. It’s hard. There’s that sadness, and the slow replacement of that sadness with pride and honor. You must choose to remember the funny stories and happy times.

As gifts, he would bring home little bottles of sand from the Middle East. Then he would say, “Don’t open that, it has parasites.” “Thanks for the gift,” we would laugh.

Little things like that are what I replace the sadness and the tragedy with. It is what helps get us through. 

Seeing all the people show up to this event helps us get through. Shane would be very proud. We are very proud, and we are very thankful.

If you get a chance to travel south to Orange, head west to Bridge City. Just before the big bridge, on the right, is the cemetery where Shane is buried. It has a giant flagpole which someone, I don’t know who, gifted and put there. It was very sweet.

On his tombstone is John 15:13.

When something like this happens things take on a whole new meaning. Holidays, birthdays, Christmases – the days and dates can pass without notice. But there are now days to remember.

April 5 will always be a day I will never, ever forget.

April 13 is also a day I will never, ever forget. It was the day we drove to Houston and brought him home. It was the day my sister and I repeated to each other over and over, “just keep swimming, just keep swimming.” 

And April 16, that was the day we finally got to bury him. 

Now enough of all this sad stuff.

I don’t want to look at the wall and be sad. I want to be proud. I want to remember the funny stories, the little bottles of sand, the letters that he would write. His last letter to me he never finished. I tried to read it, but I can’t. One day, I will.

So in the meantime when I get to thinking about things, I’m not really sad; I am nervous and I’m honored and I’m proud. I ask that the other family members out there do the same.

Don’t be sad. Don’t be bitter. Sadness will just take you to depths where you do not want to go.

Find joy. Make them proud. Be happy – for them and what they did.

Thank you.”